Sarah Guirguis This is a tough subject to talk about but we definitely want to talk about it. It is a given that many relationships are hard and require a lot of work. In some cases, though, it is better to break things off than hold on to something harmful or a relationship that simply wonโt work no matter how hard you try. (Of course, this doesnโt apply to you if youโre married.) If you recently went through a breakup and you donโt know what to do with all the pain, this guide is for you.
First of all, acknowledge the pain.
Donโt hold it in. Thereโs no use in pretending nothing happened or that the breakup didnโt affect you. Grieving is actually a healthy part of moving on. Let yourself feel all the terrible feelings and face them head-on so they donโt feel the need to sneak up on you later on. It will seem very scary at first but I bet youโre strong enough to go through this. Feeling pain does not make you weak. It makes you beautifully human.
Lean on trusted friends.
Talk to friends who will sit with you when youโre feeling low and give you room to process your emotions. Avoid the ones who will want to rip your bandaid off and push you into a new relationship so soon.
Journal and sort out your thoughts.
This is so important. If youโre not used to writing your thoughts on paper, you can communicate them to a friend or a family member you trust. After the pain resides a little bit, itโs good to wrap your head around all the little details affecting your heart – all the whys, hows and what ifs.ย
Make healthy conclusions.
If you find yourself making conclusions, like, โOh, he left me because Iโm not good enoughโ or โI shouldโve done something to make him stayโ, please stop yourself quickly. This means you need a little more time to grieve because this is just the pain talking. The goal is to reach healthy conclusions, such as, โItโs better to let go of him than be stuck in a constant, toxic cycleโ and โI know what I need in a relationship now more than I ever did before.โ
Look to the future.
You have to intentionally decide not to stay in this phase forever. Even if it doesnโt feel like it right now, you wonโt always feel this way. Donโt dwell on the heartbreak after youโve already had enough time to grieve it. I assure you better things will come your way if you leave it in the past and look to the future.
