Thoughts on Radical Kindness

Can kindness really change the world? It sounds cheesy and can easily be dismissed as another part of the toxic positivity movement but what if the concept of more kindness has merit? We live in a highly polarized world; from politics to the environment, there are differing opinions on absolutely everything and they are rarely framed in a kind way. It can feel that there is constantly a new label for people, anti-maskers, anti-vaxxers, and often we fear being “cancelled” for having the wrong stance on the wrong issue. This push and pull becomes taxing and formats disagreements on things from voting to wearing fur in a way that lacks empathy and understanding.

This cycle of ‘us versus them’ is exhausting and forces us to ask a new question, “What would a world with more kindness look like?” Truly radical kindness is almost impossible to imagine in a world of cyberbullying, Instagram trolls and divisive rhetoric. Angela Santomero, author of the book ‘Radical Kindness: The Life-Changing Power of Giving and Receiving’ defines it as, “Radical kindness means rooting all you say and do in kindness, being unconditionally kind all the time, to everyone. It means going beyond situational niceness or merely “doing the right thing” and, instead, living from a place of compassion.”

Being kind doesn’t just mean being positive it often means being vulnerable as well; vulnerability is hard when the stakes are so high. Generosity, compassion, friendliness and consideration are all synonymous with kindness, but they are often also associated with weakness. Being genuinely kind requires a vulnerability because it can be reciprocated with ridicule or worse. Often, being radically kind requires taking the first step at the risk of having to come face to face or head to head with someone that is toxic, rude or even violent. In a world of black and white, with little room for grey, can kindness bridge the gap? According to Santomero, it can. “Practicing radical kindness means assuming the best of everyone – heart-seeing them – and then acting toward them with compassion, patience and humility. It means infusing what we think, say, and do throughout the day with warmth, understanding and care. It means treating everyone – including ourselves! – as important, as if they matter in the world. And yes, that means everyone, whether that person is a family member, friend, stranger, panhandler, someone with opposing political views or the loudmouth on his cell phone.”

Thinking about kindness in a fresh way is powerful. Rather than heading into encounters at work, online, friends or family with a negative mindset, go in assuming that everyone has the best of intentions and deserves kindness. This doesn’t mean letting your xenophobic uncle deliver a speech at dinner uncontested but it assumes that the person’s words and actions come from ignorance rather than malice. Being nice or kind doesn’t mean being weak or a pushover, but rather a person who is able to see the bigger picture. In the end, practicing radical kindness can be a challenge, one that Angela Santomero thinks we should all at least try. Maybe kindness won’t change the entire world but at least make our own lives a tiny bit better.