Modern-Day Dating Dilemmas

Love is tough. Love is rare. Seven billion people in the world and many people had given up on finding it already. Were we not patient or was it taking too long? Well, you know how the saying goes, ‘good things take time’. However, people are scarily ready to give up on love, totally forgetting the fact that there are cities they haven’t been to and there are people that they haven’t even met yet.

So why do people drop love, relationships and even friendships like that? Why do we tend to think our failures will never turn into successes? Are we naturally pessimistic or are we just a bunch of scared heartbroken people? Either way, life goes on and it is anything but predictable, so please don’t give up on love.

While some of us have decided they won’t find love or chose not to do relationships and remain single, others have made a deadline for love – as if it’s now or never. This, unfortunately, caused people to obsess over the idea of being in a relationship, to the extent that we don’t actually know if we’re in love with our partners for who they really are. Are we just in love with the feeling and the idea of being in a relationship and being cared about? If you’re wondering how people differentiate between these two distinct yet somewhat similar feelings, never settle for one answer. 

We were wondering the same so we asked a few people; some of them said that they know they’re in love with their partners only when they’re excited to see them, when they want to be around them all the time and when their partners are upset, they are likewise, when they’re angry, they are, and if anyone hurts them, they want to protect them. Others ironically said that when their partners break up with them, and they still feel that they want them back, they know they were in love. The last group said they know they’re in love with the person when they get the same effort back, like when the person vibes with them and it’s a take-and-give process.

You can take all these answers into consideration when you ask yourself the same question: am I in love or do I just love the feeling? Trust your gut, mainly; never deny your intuition. Because while the answers above might help you think things through, some answers came out sounding like unhealthy boundaries. For example, some people think they’re in love with the person if the person has flaws just like theirs but they accept them and tolerate them.

A good sign that you just love the feeling of being in a relationship is when your partner does something special for you but you don’t really feel like returning the favor or if you feel like your mind is constantly caught up in simply getting their attention and not much else.

A wise person once said love is all about treating the other just as well as you would want to be treated. Only then, is the relationship true and actually lasts longer. I also heard it said that if you want to know if you’re in love with someone, stay with them for six months before getting engaged. And if you still want to be engaged, then you’re doing it right. If you’re going to live a lifetime with someone, you better know what you’re getting yourself into.

By Nouran Hassan