Dating Wisdom By Standup Comedian Iliza Shlesinger

Not only is she killing it as a powerful female stand-up comic, Iliza Shlesinger is definitely an odds-on favorite. Known for being keenly relatable and a wacky type of funny, see for yourself by watching her fourth and latest Netflix stand-up special, Elder Millennial, or get your hands on her insightful book Girl Logic: The Genius and the Absurdity. In honor of her exceptional wit and charm, we compiled a few of her words of wisdom when it comes to dating.

“Don’t blame the city you’re living in.”

It’s true. We’re always looking for excuses on why dating is hard. Sifting through the players and jerks in Cairo can sure be exhausting but you’ll also find that everywhere. Don’t give up hope just yet. We promi- err, we wish you the best.

“Universal rule. If he’s busy, he doesn’t think you’re hot.”

We should know this by now. Sometimes, we still trick ourselves into thinking the guy still wants us because of some ‘unspoken spark’. No. If he’s not calling you or actively pursuing you, he’s simply not interested. We know this could bite sometimes, but if you know your worth, it’s not going to faze you. Time to flip to the next page in your love life.

“You have to make sure he has a real job.”

This is actually very important. If you think about it, most guys who can’t keep a steady job can’t keep a steady relationship. It all points to a commitment problem and weak character. Last thing you want in a relationship.

“Set a timer for an hour. Do your makeup and girls, when that timer goes off, Chef, step away from your place and put your knives down. You are done.”

Here, we think she presents a solid theory. There is obviously a pinnacle to how pretty you can get for a date and you know you can’t go past that point. Every minute the guy is late to pick the girl up, she will feel the need to do something extra and it will only go downhill from there.

If you don’t know much about Shlesinger, here is a quick background check. It all started for her when she won NBC’s Last Comic Standing in 2008, and from there she started hosting the dating show Excused, the TBS game show Separation Anxiety, and then her own late-night talk show called Truth & Iliza on Freeform.

All photos courtesy of Netflix.

By Sarah Guirguis