Britney Speaks Out: Harrowing Quotes From Her LA Court Date

American superstar Britney Spears is almost 40 years old but has been living under a conservatorship for the past thirteen years, to put that in perspective that is almost as long as the Kardashian family has been in the public eye. Amidst the release of a documentary earlier this year discussing at length her legal conservatorship, fans of the pop star have been rallying around her under the #freebritney hashtag. Yesterday, she addressed a Los Angeles court calling for an end to the legal restraints that have stripped her from her rights since 2008. Addressing Judge Brenda Penny; Spears spoke out against the arrangement for over twenty minutes sharing harrowing details about her daily life. Below are some of the most painful quotes from the transcript.

“Making anyone work against their will, taking all their possessions away — credit card, cash, phone, passport — and placing them in a home where they work with the people who live with them. They all lived in the house with me, the nurses, the 24-7 security. There was one chef that came there and cooked for me daily during the weekdays. They watched me change every day — naked – morning, noon and night.”

“And that’s why I’m telling you this again two years later, after I’ve lied and told the whole world “I’m OK and I’m happy.” It’s a lie. I thought I just maybe if I said that enough maybe I might become happy, because I’ve been in denial. I’ve been in shock. I am traumatized. You know, fake it till you make it. But now I’m telling you the truth, OK? I’m not happy. I can’t sleep. I’m so angry it’s insane. And I’m depressed. I cry every day.”

“I don’t owe these people anything — especially me, the one that has roofed and fed tons of people on tour on the road. It’s embarrassing and demoralizing what I’ve been through. And that’s the main reason I’ve never said it openly. And mainly, I didn’t want to say it openly, because I honestly don’t think anyone would believe me.” 

“I shouldn’t be in a conservatorship if I can work and provide money and work for myself and pay other people — it makes no sense. The laws need to change. What state allows people to own another person’s money and account and threaten them and saying, “You can’t spend your money unless you do what we want you to do.” And I’m paying them.”

“The control he had over someone as powerful as me — he loved the control to hurt his own daughter 100,000%. He loved it.” 

“Ma’am, my dad and anyone involved in this conservatorship and my management who played a huge role in punishing me when I said no — ma’am, they should be in jail.”

“I would like to progressively move forward and I want to have the real deal, I want to be able to get married and have a baby. I was told right now in the conservatorship, I’m not able to get married or have a baby, I have an (IUD) inside of myself right now so I don’t get pregnant. I wanted to take the (IUD) out so I could start trying to have another baby.”

“ I also would like to be able to share my story with the world, and what they did to me, instead of it being a hush-hush secret to benefit all of them. I want to be able to be heard on what they did to me by making me keep this in for so long, it is not good for my heart.”