Sarah Guirguis This is a tough subject to talk about but we definitely want to talk about it. It is a given that many relationships are hard and require a lot of work. In some cases, though, it is better to break things off than hold on to something harmful or a relationship that simply won’t work no matter how hard you try. (Of course, this doesn’t apply to you if you’re married.) If you recently went through a breakup and you don’t know what to do with all the pain, this guide is for you.
First of all, acknowledge the pain.
Don’t hold it in. There’s no use in pretending nothing happened or that the breakup didn’t affect you. Grieving is actually a healthy part of moving on. Let yourself feel all the terrible feelings and face them head-on so they don’t feel the need to sneak up on you later on. It will seem very scary at first but I bet you’re strong enough to go through this. Feeling pain does not make you weak. It makes you beautifully human.
Lean on trusted friends.
Talk to friends who will sit with you when you’re feeling low and give you room to process your emotions. Avoid the ones who will want to rip your bandaid off and push you into a new relationship so soon.
Journal and sort out your thoughts.
This is so important. If you’re not used to writing your thoughts on paper, you can communicate them to a friend or a family member you trust. After the pain resides a little bit, it’s good to wrap your head around all the little details affecting your heart – all the whys, hows and what ifs.
Make healthy conclusions.
If you find yourself making conclusions, like, ‘Oh, he left me because I’m not good enough’ or ‘I should’ve done something to make him stay’, please stop yourself quickly. This means you need a little more time to grieve because this is just the pain talking. The goal is to reach healthy conclusions, such as, ‘It’s better to let go of him than be stuck in a constant, toxic cycle’ and ‘I know what I need in a relationship now more than I ever did before.’
Look to the future.
You have to intentionally decide not to stay in this phase forever. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, you won’t always feel this way. Don’t dwell on the heartbreak after you’ve already had enough time to grieve it. I assure you better things will come your way if you leave it in the past and look to the future.
