Sarah Guirguis You know that saying loved ones tell you when you go through a rough patch? “Don’t worry. Nothing is wasted.” While it might sound like they are just trying their best to look at the bright side of your situation, let’s deliberate on whether what they’re communicating actually holds some truth.
Every job that made you twirl in circles, every conversation you had with that one friend who keeps falling in cycles of self destruction, every relationship that went downhill and left you with a bit of a scar… At the time, it was very hard to see a bigger picture when all you could see in front of you was a substantial waste of kleenex. Everything felt kind of random and pointless. Unfortunately, these are the thoughts that accompany disappointment.
It probably wouldn’t have crossed your mind that your character was being built as you learned to endure and even thrive in various environments. You would’ve never imagined that two years later, your friend would call and tell you how much your conversations helped them find their way to a healthier lifestyle. You didn’t take into consideration that every toxic relationship helped you figure out exactly what to avoid and what to look for, and even the kind of friends to keep close and the “friends” to keep at bay. If not necessarily toxic, then the previous relationship helped you grow, learn more about yourself and your values. Nothing is wasted.
By no means are we encouraging you to make bad decisions without thinking things through – like they are inevitable, because they’re not! We do our very best and then deal with one thing after another. Of course, if you have the wisdom to avoid something bad early on, you really should listen to your gut. However, if you happen to make a mistake in judgement – scratch that, several mistakes – instead of wallowing in shame and self pity, allow yourself the grace to flourish in the process. We’re all growing at different paces but it is not a race.
I love this quote by the late American philosopher, John Dewey;
“Failure is instructive. The person who really thinks learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes. Genuine ignorance is profitable because it is likely to be accompanied by humility, curiosity, and open-mindedness; whereas ability to repeat catch-phrases, can’t terms, familiar propositions, gives the conceit of learning and coats the mind with varnish waterproof to new ideas.”
If we begin to think with that mindset moving forward, imagine how easier it would be to let go of the initial shock of how badly any given situation was carried out. We become lighter when big moments and opportunities become less high-stakes and are rather perceived more as adventurous and exciting. We begin to actually enjoy the journey, as we look to the potential of our futures instead of fumbling through life while carrying the burdens of our past.
