Sarah Guirguis It’s always nice to pretend that we have completely mastered self love and fully adopted ‘no negative vibes’ in our day to day. Blaming everyone else for why we are not moving forward is so much easier than coming face to face with our inner critic. And you know it exists… It is the accumulation of little thoughts that gradually gets you to second guess yourself and your every move.
When you question yourself as you drive home after an outing or a party, and your mind goes, “Why did I say that?” When you weigh taking a risk and starting something new, the inner critic says, “I will most probably fail.” When you scroll through Instagram, and you think, “My life will never be as exciting as this influencer’s.” The more you let thoughts like these become habitual, the more they become familiar, like white noise, and you subconsciously allow them to control your life.
For the sake of some inner peace and a decent shot at achieving your goals in life, here a few suggestions for quieting your inner critic.
Learning to become mindful
This is a choice to be aware of what is going on in your head and inner world, instead of ignoring it by default. The more you pay attention to these things, the better you can manage them and the clearer your mind will be, as you discern between what good thoughts to keep and nurture and what self-sabotaging thoughts to discard.
Know your enemy
It could be fear, doubt, anger or self pity. Putting your finger on the root cause of the detrimental thoughts giving you hard time is so important. This helps you take ownership of your feelings and allows you the chance to cut negativity at its root.
Choose to let go
Like a toxic ex, your inner critic has to be cut ties with and you have to move on to a healthier life without ‘him’. At first, you may have kept ‘him’ around to kind of protect you from ever having to be vulnerable and deal with pain, but it’s about time you let go. And if ‘he’ tries to lurk back into your life, remind yourself that ‘he’ never treated you well and was never good for you to begin with.
Build on healthy thought patterns
As you learn to be more aware of your inner world, you are now in charge of what you say to yourself. The way you would normally talk to a beloved friend is the way you should be talking to yourself. So guess what – if you reaffirm and encourage your friend when she needs a little push, and if you show her mercy and say, “it’s okay” when she messes things up, and “good job” when she does something right, you ought to be saying that to yourself, as well.
