Sarah Guirguis Like drinking from a hose, many of us have been bombarded with plenty of dating advice along the years – whether by family members, friends, internet memes, so-called experts or even characters from romantic movies and novels. Of course, while some of it actually works, we know that a good chunk of it is not necessarily helpful. For example, here are four dating myths that ought to be challenged.
Myth 1: The more you date, the more you will know what you want in a relationship.
Truth: You can’t find out what you really want – let alone need – in a relationship until you know who you are. If you keep dating to find out what you’re looking for, you can easily lose yourself in the process. And if you find yourself caught up in a situation like that, fear not. You can break the cycle by choosing to be single for a while and dedicate this time for self love and discovery. This will not only build you up, but also help you figure out the type of person who would be a good fit for your life.
Myth 2: If he pursues you well, he will be good for you.
Truth: Not always! Yes, it is a great sign when a guy doesn’t give up easily but remember that you also get to choose him, along with all his other qualities. If you don’t really like the package as a whole, make sure you don’t jump into a new relationship because of the initial excitement of being pursued. Eventually, you will have to face the rest of his personality and a breakup could be inevitable.
Myth 3: If he loves you, he will know exactly what you want.
Truth: Um, no. Guys don’t read minds. Sometimes, you have to spell out your feelings, what you’re going through and exactly what you would like to do about it. Communication isn’t something you want to hide under a rug in any relationship; it builds understanding and trust. But of course, we’re not talking about someone – like Roy in ‘The Office’ – who never pays attention to what you’re saying. In that case, feel free to kick him out of your life because you deserve better.
Myth 4: You’re not meant to be if you don’t do everything together.
Truth: A healthy balance is required here. It’s definitely an unhealthy extreme if you never really spend any quality time together. With that said, another extreme is the couple that is always, and I mean always, together. Codependency is something you want to avoid like the plague in any relationship. It is so important for you to have room to simply be – and make time for family and girls’ nights – without your boyfriend. I would encourage you to consider it a red flag if you find yourself needing him to show up everywhere you go.
