Amy Pugsley Relationships are tricky but some things are non-negotiable. Red flags can be thought of like red lights, stop signs or the referee at a sports game. It doesn’t mean what you are doing is “done” but it calls for a time out to regroup and analyze. If you are wondering just how “normal” certain behaviors are in your relationship then it might be time to look for some guidance. While this list is not exhaustive we have outline five serious red flags that you need to be aware of in a relationship.
Trust Issues
Privacy is important no matter if you have been with your partner for one day or one decade. Knowing where you are for safety is one thing, but monitoring your online presence, tracking your phone, and other boundary violations is a huge red flag. If your partner demands email passwords, access to your phone, and social media accounts, then there is a serious lack of trust and this could be the first step in a controlling dynamic. Trust is obviously important, and if your partner doesn’t trust you, could it be a projection of what they are up to?
Poor Communication
Communication might be one of the most important relationship pieces. Being able to communicate openly is huge and being on the same page as your partner is essential. If your partner refuses to share their thoughts and feelings with you, this might be a red flag that you want to deal with right away. If there is not an ebb and flow and you can’t share your feelings and be truly heard then there might be something seriously wrong. Of course, couples can work on communication and this might be an easy fix but if things don’t feel open and honest—they might not be.
They Don’t Love you Love
It is okay, even healthy, to disagree about things in a relationship but your friends and family are non-negotiable. If your partner has issues with those closest to you (albeit if there is a valid situation like abuse) it is a red flag. It is hard to navigate a world when isolated, and if your partner doesn’t take the time to know your inner circle or constantly criticizes family members, it might not work in the long run. Sharing moments, holidays, vacations, and won’t be the same if you have to navigate bad energy 24-7.
On the Down Low
If your partner is insistent on keeping your relationship on the down-low, it most likely isn’t for a good reason. While many people are on the fence about PDA (you know hand-holding, kissing, and being cutesy in public) if your partner refuses to acknowledge you around friends, family, and strangers it is a red flag. If you want to put a label on your relationship and your partner has a million excuses—your relationship and your partner might not be where you want it to be.
Super Secretive
If your partner is secretive about little things, this is 100% a red flag. Boundaries are one (very serious and important) thing but being secretive about where they are going, who they are with, or what they are doing is a red flag that should be taken seriously. Secrecy usually means dishonestly—this is not a good element of a relationship, romantic or not. If your partner is being secretive, they might be planning you a surprise party but most likely they are up to something shady.
Note: The author of this article is not a trained psychologist or therapist. If you are in need of personal or relationship help please contact a local professional.
