Amy Pugsley Negative self-talk? Anxiety? Do you feel like you are constantly “faking it till you make it?” These are common feelings that many successful women have. Feeling like you don’t belong in the meeting, that you didn’t really earn your promotion or that you just got lucky in life are feelings that are so common that they are frequently pushed below the surface—and ignored. The problem is that these painful feelings of self-doubt are more than individual feelings, but a phenomenon known as imposter syndrome (IS). This syndrome was first identified in the late seventies by psychologists Suzanne Imes and Pauline Clan who discovered that while many people suffer from this syndrome, women are far more susceptible due to sociological, cultural, biological and psychological factors. Don’t worry! The good news is that identifying the common traits is the first step to overcoming this syndrome and living your best life.
How often does it happen?
On an average workday, behind the red bottoms and red lips, you have thousands of women all across the world feeling like they just don’t add up. After all, they have earned multiple degrees, worked hard day in and day out and yet still feel like they are a fraud – as if at any minute, someone will knock down their house of cards and expose their secret. Why? There is no scientific answer to this question but we know that this syndrome affects people from all walks of life, from academics to movie stars to professional athletes. In an article published in the ‘International Journal of Behavioral Science’, research says that about 70% of people experience these feelings at least once. While experts might not know exactly why this happens they do have some helpful ways to combat this syndrome.
How can I deal with it?
It is not easy to deal with any form of self-doubt but acknowledging the encroaching feelings and reminding yourself that they are not real is the first giant step. After putting those thoughts into perspective, you can begin to reframe some of the negative self-talk into something more positive. By disempowering negative ideas, they lose control over your actions. If you feel this might not work for you then why not share these experiences with family, friends or a mentor? Chances are, according to research, that you will encounter someone else with these same feelings and be able to create a support network. You are unique but probably not the first person to feel inadequate at work, question if you are a good parent or feel like you can’t pull off the latest trend you have been so eager to try. Dealing with imposter syndrome is much easier if you do it with support.
Can I really embrace my accomplishments and cast away my fears?
It is easy to pick apart your accomplishments but why not celebrate them instead? We don’t expect others to be perfect so why do we expect it from ourselves? Having the courage to be flawed is easier said than done but trust me, if you take that step, it is so worth it – even invigorating. Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist, author and podcast host often talks about this topic. She says, “I think a mistake that a lot of people make when faced with imposter syndrome is overworking themselves as a way to compensate for a perceived deficit. You want to prove so badly that you’re worthy that you might begin taking on extra projects, and so on. That could lead to burnout and may actually make you appear less competent which is what you were afraid of in the first place.” Big or small, you need to start believing your achievements are incredible and worth celebrating. Why not start today?
